Bill Clinton infamously asserted, “I did not have sex with that woman…Miss Lewinsky.” He was buried under heaps of scorn for that comment. But the story gets more interesting.
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Echoes from a less sophisticated time. Just before I took her daughter out on a date, the lady who became my mother-in-law admonished us, “I don’t mind your petting, but promise you won’t make out.” We readily agreed. In those days “making out” meant mostly just snuggling and kissing. “Petting” meant groping, definitely above the waist but more often than not drifting south.
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Turns out that the phrase “having sex” has different meanings for different folks. These days a majority of young people in college do not consider fellatio or cunnilingus as “having sex.” I suspect the same is true for those of similar age who are not in college.
The status of anal sex is more ambiguous. But from as long ago as when I myself was in college, young women who had enjoyed anal sex but not vaginal sex still considered themselves “virgins.” The vaginal gates seem to enjoy special, mystical status–at least in some cultures.
Which brings us to Gov. Sanford. At one point in his televised psychodrama, the governor asserted that in his multiple previous liaisons he hadn’t crossed the sex line. Hmmm… “I did not have sex” vs. “I didn’t cross the sex line.”
Two thoughts. Most obviously, the multitude of deliberate duplicities and subconscious self-deception. Not to mention the absolutely brain-dead belief in “abstinence only” sex education. WTF? Something’s broken in American culture.
Second, we really need to distinguish between public and private behavior. They’re not discrete, obviously. Same person, same…? That’s the question, isn’t it. I’d say assess a person’s performance on her or his track record, not on unproven assumptions.
Consider the number of U.S. Presidents who have enjoyed either unmarried or extramarital sex. (Jefferson? FDR? Eisenhower? JFK? And on and on?) Then consider their performance in office. And finally consider the evidence for a relationship between the two.
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Thus endeth the seriousness. Now beginneth the R-ratedness. One such take serious matters seriously. But one should never allow tight-sphinctered self-righteous priggishness to cloud practical judgment.
